That Is What People Do
by Very Special Lee
Summary: Regulus Black knows that he faces the final hours of his life. He decides to leave a note because that is what people do and he just cannot leave his best friend without saying anything at all, can he?


**That Is What People Do**

_Dear Barty _it said on top of the parchment, but the words were scratched through.  
The paper was rippled and sometimes the ink had been in contact with water, tears, so that the words were impossible to decipher correctly. Somehow it seemed like the hand of the writer had been shaking madly and like he had written it under pressure and in the light of the lantern posts in front of the shattered window.

_Barty _

This time there was merely a little drop of black ink next to the name, like he had considered what to write for a short moment. Was there anything to consider at all? Did it even matter what he would write down?

_I should probably say I am sorry and that nothing of this is your fault. Sounds like I would break-up with you... Yes, indeed, I am breaking-up with you because you cannot accompany me. Not anymore. I do not want you to accompany me._  
_I have to do it alone. Do you even understand this word: A-L-O-N-E, which means that you will not follow me wherever I go and will not do anything in order to safe me!_  
_I cannot be saved, Barty, and neither do I want to be saved. And I hereby forbid you to follow me, because I know you are right now intending to check where I went._

_I am facing death, my dear friend. My only and best friend. But you have so much to live for even if it does not seem like it. Please, do it for me. Please, live._  
_I cannot. I tried to. I really did and I enjoyed the years I had, in particular those you were generous enough to share with me. But I always knew somewhere in the back of my head I would not live as long as others, especially in comparison to other magical people._  
_I did not deserve any of the affection, friendship and love you gave me._  
_How will I ever be able to return them to you? I genuinely do not know. And I can think of anything to make up for it._

_There is nothing I could do to reduce the pain you will, perhaps, or should I say hopefully, go through when you are standing next to my grave. In the unlikely case I will actually get one. Yet I can say that you were the only reason I stayed alive until now, that I have not given myself up and I will not do so now but there are things, which simply have to be done and I know that no one else is aware of them or is brave enough to deal with them._  
_I have finally become one of those foolish people who claim to be brave. The five galleons I owe you for this one are in the drawer of your beside cabinet._

_I am sorry, Barty. I never thought I would end up writing this letter to you. I intended to leave our flat and never to return, but I think I just cannot finish with you without saying anything at all._  
_You were the best friend I ever had. The most loyal, clever, caring, beautiful and so unique and important friend- more than I ever dreamt to have._  
_I was so lonely and so alone. I owe you so much, and the only regret I have now that I can count the hours left to me on my fingers is that I have to leave you behind. I am breaking the promise I made back in our fourth year. But believe me when I say there is no other way._

_If I could I would turn back time just to make sure you did not befriend me on our first train ride to Hogwarts, so that you will not even be touched by my death. I bloody know what I am doing, Crouch._  
_I do not want you to go through this but I could not live or be dead in the conscience that I am at fault for your death. I could not. Please, you are the brother Sirius did not want to be. Live, Barty._  
_I am begging you._

_Do you still remember the countless nights we spent wide awake, lying next to each other holding our hands, because we feared the next day? And that all the things we dreamt of, all the pain, the fears, the nightmares were real? I do not think I have ever told you how much this meant to me. How much _you _mean to me! You made my nightmares fade and caused the hallucinations to go away.  
Can you still recall our drunken moments? I still know some of those things we did when we drank too much because we wanted to drown our pain. Sometimes it worked.  
Do you remember when you wrapped your cloak around me, though we barely knew our names, and the moment when you handed me back my diary with the words "I think this belongs to you." Do you remember my answer?_

It was almost impossible to read the words now.

_I said "Your hand, too?" And you gave me your hand. I do not think I have ever been so happy in my entire life. You were the first who made me feel like I was wanted and not like all the other needed._  
_Barty, I know I have never told you but I only know what happiness is because you showed me._  
_I am so grateful that you were there for me when no one else was and that you never left like others did._

_I love you, Barty. You are my best friend and if you will have to torture me (don't ask!) then just do it._  
_I would forgive you everything. Just stay safe and in His grace. And I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me._

_In love,_  
_Regulus A. Black 13th November 1979_

The letter fell out of Barty Crouch Junior's numb hands and he stood up abruptly. This clearly had to be a bloody joke! It better be. It was one of the few times he felt something like fear. Cold fear. This kind of fear which makes your heart beat faster; and causes the hair in your neck to stand up while you are almost unable to breathe properly.  
"Black, what the hell is this?" he yelled from downstairs. There was the trace of disappointment, fear and anger in his voice.  
The notehad been lying under Bart's pillow and it was a huge coincidence he came back from a mission a few minutes ago and was in need of some rest. How could Regulus actually believe it was right to leave him behind like this? Stupid idiot.

Regulus put on his dark gloves, his scarf and left, after another reassuring glance at himself in the mirror, his room.  
"What-" he began, but his voice broke as he saw Barty holding some pieces of parchment.  
His best friend had somehow managed to find his note before Regulus had left to 12 Grimmauld Place to finish his own mission.  
"What is this?" repeated Barty, waving with the parchments in his hands with a strange look on his face like they were poisoned.  
The words stuck in Regulus' throat. He did not want to put his Barty in danger.  
However, Barty merely stood up and embraced him tightly, kissed his forehead and then embraced him again with the intention never to let go.  
"My note..." Regulus croaked, holding tightly onto Barty, "that's what people do... leaving a note."

But eventually they reluctantly let go of each other and Regulus fled the flat before he considered otherwise.


End file.
